Two pink lines

Two pink lines
Laughter and tears
Baby showers and gifts
Nausea and ginger and peppermint
Checking your belly in the mirror for a sign of growth

Your body swells with life and fluid
You waddle
You dream
You toil and push and cry
Or feel pressure and pain and fear and relief behind a thick blue curtain

You look down at your chest and see a brand new face
A person you get to discover and know before anyone else
A person who has spoken to you for months through kicks and jabs and swirls

You wake at night
You stumble
You reach for paci’s and wipes
You rock and cry
You rock and smile
Your heart and your breasts swell beyond capacity
You rock and sing

You lend fingers to chubby hands that need support as they take their first steps
You freeze ice packs for swollen gums as teeth make their painful entrance
You clap and sing
You say no and pop hands away from danger
You cry behind closed bathroom doors
You marvel at growth

A sigh of relief as your child puts on their shoes and clicks their seat belt unassisted
“We made it” you whisper as you feel a slight release in the boulder of responsibility on your shoulders
You sing together
You answer questions
You fix snacks
You answer more questions

You watch arms and legs once rippled with rolls now long and lean
You buy them bigger shoes and longer pants
You sometimes sing together
You sometimes sing alone
You buy them bigger shoes again

The realization sinks in slowly
The skin of your stomach loose and stretched but empty
Your arms and shoulder ache
Missing the rhythmic breathing of an infant
Why does your heart hurt so badly?

“Enjoy every moment” they say
“It goes by so fast!”
“You will miss this!”
Words that used to irritate
Words that meant well but never helped you get more sleep or soothe a toddler tantrum
Words you now realize are the grieving song of women who’s wombs are empty like yours

Why does no one tell you how much it hurts
This unnatural feeling that your body will never bring life into the world again
Why does no one talk about the sobbing that shakes your body
The regret that you should have heeded their words and enjoyed it more
The always wondering if someone else should have been born into your arms

How does a season go so slow you almost can’t bear it?
How does a season move so quickly you sit in shock, eyes wide that it has ended?

I didn’t know
I swear I didn’t know
How fast it would be done

So I sit
And I cry
And I let myself grieve
The wonder and beauty
The pain and agony
The blessing and privilege
Of my childbearing years.

Pumpkin Pickin’

Today we went to The Farm House in Ellerslie to let the kids pick our a few pumpkins. We had so much fun!

Eli was a fan of the pumpkins. He picked out a little one and kept it with him the whole way home. He did keep trying to eat it and saying “Mmmm…yummy!” ha

Rhett was more interested in the chickens and rooster they had there. Of course he was terrified of them, but he kept returning to their coop to be frightened so that’s progress. (Ha)

Chris thought it would be funny to put a massive pumpkin in Rhett’s lap…

And he was right. (Ha) Rhett’s eyes started popping out of his head!

Babygirl was a fan of staring at any and everyone with her stank face, and also trying to eat the grass.

She also saw her brothers go through the hay bale maze and when we let her down to crawl she headed straight for it and made it all the way through!

She’s a feisty one! And also my cute lil punkin. (Ha)

I really wanted some family pictures but as you can tell from the faces of my children…this was a BAD idea. I mean, how dare I? (Haha)

This one was take “pre-meltdown” so I at least have one decent picture…

And here’s a picture of Chris getting way too excited over a tiny pumpkin. (Ha) Love you babe!

1, 2, 3, Number Themed Birthday Party

I had the BEST time planning the kids’ birthday party this year for several reasons…but the main one was this was the first time in 3 years I hadn’t just given birth to a baby. I wasn’t sleep deprived or on pain meds, so this was awesome! (Ha)

When I was trying to find a theme that would work for all three of them, the only thing I could think of was a numbers themed party. That way it was gender neutral and also simple.

I was surprised at the lack of ideas on Pinterest, so I had to actually use my brain (LAAAAAME). It took me way longer than it should have to come up with something that rhymed with 1, 2, 3…but I love how it turned out.

Also, if you are ever wanting to get gold foil balloons for a party…go a few days in advance. They didn’t have what I needed 3 days before the party, and I lucked out on finding all three numbers in gold the night before the party. I got these at Party City and I love the quality of them. I just wish I had planned more beforehand so I didn’t have to stress out and drive through so much 5:00 traffic to get them. (Ha)

Mrs. Freda, my mother in law, made the most amazing smash cakes for them! They were as pretty as they were delicious. She also brought them all the way from South Carolina and not one of them was damaged…I don’t know how she did it! I would have ruined them completely if I’d had to transport them. (Ha)

I am so thankful for all of my wonderful family that helped celebrate our sweet babies. You know the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child?” Well, its so true. Not only would I have not been able to throw this party without them, but I couldn’t do this life without them.

Whether it was my mom and Carley taking the kids for the afternoon so I could clean for the party, or all of the countless times everyone has babysat or kept the kids over night so Chris and I could recharge, they help me be a better mother with their encouragement and selfless love for me and Chris and the kids. I love you guys!

This was Rhett’s face when I said, “If you smile, you’ll get to have some cake!” (Ha) His “cheese” face cracks me up. This boy’s joy is infectious.

Eli was not so sure about this whole smash cake thing. He always seems to think we are trying to poison him whenever we give him a new food to try. (Ha) But he took a few bites after this picture and actually liked it! Yay!

Elliot ate her cake from the start, but she didn’t try to look happy about it, that’s for sure.

The drink station with mason jars and ice to refresh yourself with sweet tea or lemon water (I used doTERRA lemon oil and it was soooo good!).

Mrs. Freda tirelessly cut out fruit and cheese with numbered cookie cutters, and I forgot to get a picture of the cheese. But they were all so cute!

We also forgot to put these out during the party, but it made for nice refreshing snack once we had cleaned up the party! (Ha)

I love my firstborn…I cannot believe he is three! You are so loved, Rhett.

Oh little Elijah…your momma loves you SO much. I am so thankful for the two years we have been blessed with you! Can’t wait for many more.

And you, my crazy baby girl, our family wouldn’t be complete without your adorable sassiness. It seems like just yesterday you were born…I can’t believe it’s been a year.

Chris and I are so blessed. The Lord has been way too good to us, to entrust us with these three precious lives. Our cup overflows with good good things. Happy 1, 2, 3, to our sweet kiddos!

A Day In The Life: 2017

So I recently went back and re-read my previous day-in-the-life post and whew! Things have changed since then. And honestly that makes me a little happy. (Ha) I do not miss all of the early feedings and pumping a bazillion times a day!

I thought it would be fun to do a follow up day to compare what has changed and as a way for me to remember this season when it is gone.

So with that being said, here was our day yesterday!


9:00 am: Get the kids up

Just like my last post talked about, my kids do not not normally sleep this late, but I try not to get them up until 9. We are all battling a cold/stomach virus this week, so they were all actually asleep at 8:30 and started cooing and talking while I was making breakfast.

I give the boys cereal and fruit, and Rhett gets oatmeal. I feed Elliot her food and give her a bottle, then put her in her exersaucer to play (Also keeping her upright while her food settles keeps her from spitting up orange baby food all over the rug. Ha).

I have started playing a Christian playlist on Spotify while we all eat breakfast together and the boys love it! It’s a cheerful way to get the morning started and it warms my heart to see them slowly learning the words.

While the boys finish up eating, I run the vacuum so that Elliot doesn’t get into all of the crumbs they have dropped. It’s a new thing for them not to cry when I vacuum and I am SO thankful! I could never find a good time to do it because it traumatized them when they were awake and then woke them up when they were asleep. Sooooo…dirty floors it was! Ha

9:45 Playtime

We all hang out in the living room and read books, push the walker around/run over baby sister with said walker, and watch a show (Little Baby Bum on Netflix. Two words: life. Saver.).

Eli has a cough, so I try to diffuse some oils to help him with that. Trying to keep him still and rest his little body is a difficult task!

Rhett dropped his toys in the toilet, and that was a first for us. So I put them in the kitchen sink to run through the dishwasher later. While I was cleaning out the toilet, Eli got into the diffuser I mentioned earlier and spilled it. Elliot was screaming during all of this. (Ha)

11:00 make lunch

I make sandwiches for the boys with goldfish and Pediasure for Eli (come on and gain weight baby boy!). I feed Elliot another bottle.

11:30 Chris comes home for lunch

Best part of my day. 🙂

He helps me lay them all down, and then we fix lunch and watch The Office.

12:30-1:30 watch tv

Normally I do something fun, like decorate or work on projects during this time, but since I’m sick, I watched The Office the whole time. (Ha)

1:30 Elliot wakes up

I change her diaper, and let her play on the floor.

2:45 Boys wake up

I fix snacks and drinks and we play and watch a show. It’s a very calm slow day due to them feeling under the weather.

I feed Elliot a bottle and lay her down.

3:45 Lay Eli back down

4:45 Chris gets home

Chris goes into work at 7 at his new job so he is supposed to get to come home at 4, but most days it’s closer to 5 and sometimes 6. He’s a hard worker but I’m a needy wife, so I miss him!

5:00 Make dinner and get Elliot and Eli up

I start making dinner while Chris plays with the kids. Chris feeds Elliot and makes some chicken for the boys since the tacos we are having aren’t very kid friendly. (Ha)

6:00 Clean Up

Chris plays with the kids while I do the dishes and vacuum again. I clean their high chairs and trays to get prepared for the next day.

6:15 Brush the boys teeth

6:30 Bedtime for boys

6:45 Feed Elliot a bottle and lay her down

7:00 Chill with my man until we go to bed around 9:30


And that was our day! For any of you new moms out there or veteran mom’s who have recently had another child, it’s amazing how quickly the seasons change and yet feel like they last a lifetime!

If you are in the midst of a crazy and chaotic season with your babies, take heart! Although it might not feel like it, they will become more independent and it will get better.

My kids are still very needy and aren’t all that independent, but they are learning! And that encourages me so much! I can’t even imagine a day when they can feed themselves and get in and out of the car by themselves! (Ha) But I know it’s coming!

Looking back on my first day-in-the-life post, I actually saw how far they’ve come. We’ve all changes a lot in just a few months!

So let’s take heart, be encouraged that it won’t always be like this, and scoop up those sweet babies! Let’s savor every season, even the hard ones!

Sidenote: Our daily diaper count went down from 17 to 10. There’s a praise right there!

New Year, New Rhythms.

As I’ve been spending time evaluating this new year and what goals the Lord is showing me and wanting me to work towards, I can’t help but think back on what I posted last year.
While so much is the same…lots of messes and chaos and little people who need me, I can’t help but sigh and say a thank you prayer at how far the Lord has brought me.

Last year, I gave birth to my third child, we listed and sold our home in SC, we moved to Columbus, GA and relocated three times within 6 weeks of being down here.

The Lord provided a beautiful home for us here in Columbus and for the first time in several years I don’t feel like life is “on hold” in anticipation of a big event. Like moving, or having another baby.

So this year I was actually able to set some goals and think through what the Lord has for me this year.

This is my first year using Lara Casey’s #powersheets and I LOVE THEM. For someone like me who always has about 47 different things going on in my head, the Power Sheets helped me to quiet the noise and figure out what matters to me.

So as I was searching my heart and trying to narrow down what 2017 should look like, the Lord kept revealing a common theme for me. My family. My home. My children. My husband.

I felt Him tugging on my heart to be present in my home.

For those of you who don’t know me, I am a Starter. I am all about a project. Let’s do it. Let’s plant those seeds, start that ministry, help whoever needs help. Let’s throw some dynamite into the mess and shake things up.

However, I am not so great at finishing things.

I lack endurance in those projects. I get overwhelmed and want to go start something new. I like the adrenaline rush at the beginning.

And yes, I realize this is not a great thing. It’s a huge flaw of mine, and it is something I feel like the Lord is bringing into the light this year. He wants me to endure and to cultivate. He wants me to be faithful.

So my word of the year is nurture.

I love the definition of nurture –

“the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something.”

Nurturing doesn’t happen overnight. It is a time consuming process. Sooooo…I ain’t so good at nurturing. (Ha) But the Lord has shown me that marriage and motherhood are the perfect tools He is using to cultivate those things in me.

I thought at the start of this year that my calendar and planner would be full of volunteering at the homeless shelter, crisis pregnancy center, or church. I thought we would most likely lead a bible study of some kind in our home or lead a small group. And these things may happen at some point in the year!

But the Lord has been calming my heart and showing me that when I am busy “doing things for Him,” a lot of times I feel resentment towards the things that get in the way of that…like my children. As my focus goes outward, my frustration grows towards them.

So I feel like this year, for this season, the Lord wants me to nurture my children. He wants me to be present. To listen to the little stories. To read the books. To answer the questions. To sing songs. To change diapers. To teach them about the Lord. To cultivate in their hearts obedience and kindness. To be all in.

He wants me to nurture my marriage. To put down my phone and listen to my husband when he talks to me. To go on dates with Chris. To pray for Chris. To love him to the best of my ability.

So this is what my heart for this year is. To not just plant the seeds, but to water, weed, water again, cultivate and prune the things God is growing in my life. I want to desire and look to the harvest. Knowing that my toil is not in vain in the Lord.

I’d love to hear what the Lord wants for your 2017! Is it a year of planting or growing for you? Comment below or email me some of your goals for this year.

(Note: Please know that I am not saying we should not serve or be involved in church or ministries. Nothing could be further from the truth. And as believers we are called to do these things. However, when I put more priority and importance on those things over my own family, that is where the problem is. And that is what the Lord has shown me I have a tendency to do. Just wanted to clarify. Ha)