The Break Our Marriage Needed

This past week in Puerto Rico for our anniversary was such a blessing. We are so thankful for Chris’ parents and my parents who tag-teamed on watching the kids to make our getaway possible. We love y’all!

I can’t really put into words how much fun we had on this trip. It was very needed.

Our marriage has been in kind of a dry spell lately and it’s sometimes hard to know what to do to when times like that come. It’s like nothing serious is wrong and yet something feels off. We are totally committed to each other, divorce is not an option for us, so there’s never even that thought or fear when hard times come. Which is such a blessing.

But it’s also hard when you’re like “I love you and will never leave you, but I also don’t really like you right now. I’d take a bullet for you but don’t ask me to get up and change a diaper.” (Haha)

Chris and I have spent a lot of time talking about this and we know that marriage isn’t all fluffy romantic feelings…but shouldn’t those kinds of feelings still be present?

That’s what we were missing. The fun parts. Maybe all of the trials we’ve been through in our short 4 years of marriage sucked it out of us, maybe we just got complacent. But the last month or two we’ve been a lot more aware and intentional about communicating and loving each other in the fun ways…not the heavy commitment type of ways.

And goodness…this past week was just what the doctor ordered. I have laughed more than I can remember in a long time. We played cards at midnight, hiked a rain forest, and ate way too much candy. We laid in bed for an entire day bingeing on our favorite show, and walked through Old San Juan in the rain. We rented a scooter to tour a tropical island…and also wrecked that scooter. (Haha)

I realized this week how important time away together is. Whether you have kids or not. There was something about having an entire week away…I just didn’t feel rushed. And that’s the first time I haven’t felt confined by feeding schedules or bedtimes in a long time. I could take a breath and know that we had plenty of time. My mind was quiet, we caught up on sleep, and we had a ton of time to do fun things we never get to do.

We are on the right track. Chris and I have always been fun people. We have always loved to laugh and loved adventures and spontaneity.

But in the trenches of parenthood to three precious souls, I think we forgot about that. We cut out everything that didn’t seem “necessary” to survive and in doing so we kind of lost ourselves.

This week I was reminded of the man I fell head over heels for…the one who’s hilarious and kind, the one who carries my heavy purse for me through the airport and yet laughs at me when I almost fall on the escalator.

We had a blast and are excited about our marriage. We are still learning this whole thing…maybe after 30 years of marriage we’ll be a little better at it. (Ha)